Stop Playing by Their Rules: How to Win Social Media Without Feeding the Algorithm

Why the platforms trained you to create content for free while they profit - and the conversation strategy that puts you back in control

The social platforms have changed the game…again.

Now it feels like you could be in a chicken suit, dancing around on fire, while screaming into a megaphone and your followers still won’t see you. But judging from the hundreds of comments, they are noticing ‘Susie’ over there with the obvious AI created content.

It’s FRUSTRATING. It’s 100% totally fucking UNFAIR.

You spent years building an audience on the platforms. Creating and posting quality content. Drawing people into your networks. Inviting people to join you there. Building the foundation of your business there. And now you’re not seeing the rewards…

‘What I’d love is for the thousands of connections and followers I’ve obtained over the years to be able to see my content. That would be marvellous.’

Sure, you can blame platforms. Go ahead - RAGE against the machine. But you’ve forgotten, you’ve been playing by someone else’s rules on THEIR playground.

It’s a Rigged Game You Don’t Have to Play

In casinos, the House ALWAYS wins. That’s cause you’re playing in THEIR house, by their RULES. And of course, they’ve stacked the deck in their favor. It’s their business. They give just enough to keep you coming back for more.

Social platforms are no different. They are just someone else’s vision of creating a profitable business. A business model that worked really really well! Cause they’ve literally got millions of people, including you, consistently creating and posting content on their platforms…for free…while they make money from your data. And charge you for more reach.

BUT there is one ENORMOUS difference between casinos and social media platforms.

You do NOT have to play by their rules on their platforms. And you CAN create your own.

I mean you can’t go blatantly violate the terms and conditions. That will get you tossed out! But you do NOT have to consistently post content for visibility. Or to talk to people.

Actually…you could post NO content and still connect with people, get seen, AND get clients from social media. While NOT a strategy I’d recommend (content + conversations = trusted connection faster), it can and does work. There’s only one thing left to do…give it a try and see what happens.

What Happens When You Stop Playing Their Game

I’m here to tell you from firsthand experience, at first…it’s going to feel freaking weird and WRONG. The brain monkeys will scream how doing it this way is going to fail.

But then people, besides your mom and closest friends, are going to start talking to you. And because they are talking to you, the algorithms are going to start showing your content more (see I told you, my recommendation wasn’t no content - it’s just not your #1 focus now). And you’ll notice that you’re actually ENJOYING yourself because you’re having brilliant conversations with COOL people. People you picked to talk to. People you WANT to talk to.

And it feels so GOOD, because you’re in control. You’re no longer trusting your fate to a random algorithm, which might connect you with some of the right people. All simply because you choose who to connect with, whose content to comment on, and who to send direct messages to. Now you’re ALWAYS talking to the right people.

And NONE of it is against the ‘rules’ on social media.

But hey, I totally empathize with our brain monkeys freaking out. We’re going against 2 decades of programming and thousands of experts saying, 'consistently posting content is how you get clients on social media.’

Here’s Why the Disconnect Happens

One of my favorite things to remind my clients of is ‘if you won’t do it in-person, don’t do it online.’ This is no different. Just think about what you do when you attend an in-person networking event or an industry conference. Do you:

• Stand silently in the center of the room, holding a card with a message on it over your head, waiting for others to come up and introduce themselves to you?

• Or do you start talking to people - usually the ones closest to you first -introducing yourself and saying something…about the event, the weather, or ask them what they do…to get a conversation going?

We both KNOW the answer is Option 2. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone because it’s a big effort (and expense) to go to an in-person event. Making yourself presentable, transportation there, attending, and then transportation back home/office. Food, drinks, gas or transportation fees.

And yet, Option 1 is what almost everyone is doing on social media. Which is literally nothing but one GIGANTIC networking event. So, why does everyone treat them differently than they would an in-person event? Simply because someone else told you that’s how it’s done? Or is it because they value those people ‘less real’ because they haven’t had physical contact with them?

I can tell you with 100% certainty that letting go of that thought process will become your unfair advantage. Here's how…

It’s our unfair advantage.

This really isn’t anything new. We’re just simply going to do what we would do in Option 2 above…online. Simply start reaching out to people we want to talk to…and talk to them. Conversations are how you earn trust.

Btw, this sales tactic has worked since humans came into existence. Just how we apply it in modern times has changed a bit. We use typed words and video or voice notes. Which isn’t any different to sending texts from your phone, leaving a voice mail, or even a written note if you popped by their house and they weren’t there.

The only reason we overcomplicate this now is those pesky ‘rules’ we’ve been programmed with. And yet, on social media we have such a HUGE advantage over in-person.

We can literally pull out our phone and start a conversation with anyone on our favorite social platform. We don’t have to hunt down phone numbers, emails, or addresses. We don’t even have to figure out what to talk about. We can start talking about the topic in their last posted content or something on their profile. It’s all so much EASIER than that in-person networking event where you literally know NOTHING about the person except maybe their name if the event host was handing out name tag stickers.

As long as we’re not rolling in with a pitch slap or ‘send me a connection request’ nonsense, most people are open to talking to us. I mean think about it…before social media…if we wanted to talk to a potential client, we would have to buy ads, make cold calls, go to a local event, or hope people would stumble into our store or across our Yellow-Page listing.

Now? We open the app and have millions of people we can reach out to directly. And many of them are already in our networks. We’re already connected. They already know who we are. WOOT!

All we gotta do is stop playing by the ‘rules’ of waiting until the social platforms deliver our people to us. We don’t have to wait. We’ve already been collecting them over the years, with many of us having THOUSANDS of followers and connections we’ve already collected over the years. Now we just gotta start talking to them.

So think about it. Which option feels better to you:

Their Way (Platform's Rules):

• Create content and hope the algorithm shows it

• Wait for people to find you

• Compete with millions of other posts

• Pay for reach when organic fails

Your New Way (Your Rules):

• Go directly to people in your network

• Start conversations on their content or send them a message

• Build relationships instead of fighting algorithms

• Use content as a portfolio, not a prayer

Doesn’t ‘Your New Way’ feel so much better?

It puts you in the driver’s seat. You’re in control of who you talk to, when, and how. You’re fulfilling your own strategy and goals, in your way. The only reason you create, and post content now is to grow trust and build credibility with your people. To establish yourself as someone who knows and understands what your ideal clients are going through + how to fix it. You’re also giving your people a straightforward way to start talking to YOU, while you’re also getting the conversation going with them. You’re no longer just fulfilling the platform’s agenda, accepting the ‘crumbs’ they decide to give you.

What to Do Instead

Now I know by now, your brain monkeys have you thinking, 'But isn't that more work? I don’t have time for conversations with so many people. Isn’t this going to take up more of the time I already don’t have?’

And I get why you would think that because I used to think the same way - that I'd need to create content AND have conversations with people.

The answer is ‘NO.’ But if I’m perfectly honest, at first it might - just because it’s a new way of doing things. But the reality is, it’s rare it takes any more time than you’re already spending producing ideas, creating, and then posting content. And what’s really going to amaze you is how quickly you start seeing results because you’re no longer just waiting for the algorithms to work in your favor.

I mean think about it. What if instead of spending 2 hours creating a post that only 50 people looked at, you spent 30 minutes having real conversations with 10 people who are actually interested in what you offer?

You’re already ahead because you’re talking to 10 people and you spent less time doing it, right? Plus, your comments act as content.

At any point and time, I usually have conversations going with 200 or more people online. If everyone did respond immediately, I absolutely would be in trouble. BUT that’s NOT how the online space works. We’re not all on at the same time. And we don’t respond at the same pace. So, it usually takes me around 30 minutes to an hour a day to keep the conversations moving forward.

So, isn’t it time to start using the social platforms to your advantage and play by your own rules?

Here are 2 ways I suggest for getting started:

Instead of posting that next ‘Here are 5 tips for how I find clients on LinkedIn’ and hoping 100 people see it, click over to your connections or followers (doesn’t matter what platform you use). Then drop comments onto the content of the last 5 people you connected with.

Not just ‘I agree’ or anything silly like that. A few sentences add to the conversation, like sharing your experience with the topic, a tip on what works for you, disagree and tell them why (respectfully), or ask questions (click here for the comment framework I use that both converts and turns your comments into content). The trick to getting the conversation to continue is to make sure you leave your response open-ended in a way that creates a natural invitation for the person to reply.

Or you could use the search box and find 5 people asking for help with finding their clients on LinkedIn. Then offer personalized advice in their comments (that’s what you were sharing in your post, right?).

Same or less time investment, and now we’re having REAL conversations with REAL people who actually are looking for our advice, thoughts, and opinions. Plus, we’re intentionally choosing who we are going to talk to, what content we are going to consume, bypassing the algorithms all together.

That’s the Freedom You've Been Missing

And here's the beautiful part about all this…

Letting go of the stress and worry over what the algorithms are doing. And instead, focus on achieving YOUR goals, YOUR agenda. It’s the thing that helped me really find my joy in social media, and I’m betting you will too. Cause you’ll no longer feel like social media is a ‘necessary evil.’

Instead, it’s a wonderful place to meet people - YOUR people. And you can meet them in your own time, on your own terms. It’s like you’ve been set free from a cage. Like you felt when you moved out of your family home and started living by your rules, not your parents.

So, try it. I’m going to suggest going bold. Skip posting content for the rest of this week and instead start conversations with your ideal clients.

I’d love to hear how it goes, so come back and let me know in the comments. I’m also here for support, so if the brain monkeys start chattering too loud or you’ve got a question, let me know. I’m happy to help conquer both.